You Know You've Lived in Urubamba When...

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• You can distinguish between the sound of an oncoming moto and combi to a) know how far to move out of the street and b) know whether to stick your hand out for a ride
• Paying more than 20 soles for a meal is murder
• You dread breaking 100 sole notes…50s get a sigh, and even 20s are bad in the market
• You can sleep through the early morning chorus of barking dogs and moto horns without a problem
• You have almost been hit by a moto or combi more times than you can count
• You don’t flinch at the sound of horns
• You’re not afraid if a combi whizzes past your shoulder
• A plate doesn’t look complete without at least two forms of starch: potatoes, rice, yucca, pasta, and bread
• You can’t eat your pizza without salsa de rocotto, extra oregano, and creamy garlic sauce
• You think that potatoes taste much better with ají and mayo
• In fact, anything that’s bland tastes better with ají
• You think it’s strange not to carry a coat with you at all times—even when it’s hot and sunny
• You know that “ahorita” means anything between “right now” and “sometime tomorrow”
• You think you should only ever have to pay 1 sol to go anywhere in Urubamba
• Only psychedelic motos with bright, flashy, crazy lights are cool enough to be ridden in at night
• You’ve memorized the songs for Gloria, Soy Vida, Coca-Cola, Ayudín, Brahma, and every other product with a commercial and find them stuck in your head 24/7
• Songs for telenovelas like “La Tormenta”, “Al Fondo Hay Sitio”, “Niños Ricos, Pobres Padres”, “El Diablo”, “Un Gancho Al Corazón” also come to your head 24/7
• You always drink your Cusqueña, but can’t stand Pilsen or Cristal
• You know to take a shower before 8 p.m. because the water turns off in Urubamba at night and know only cold Urubamba showers have high water pressure
• Adding “ito/ita” to any adjective makes it much better
• You find yourself singing along to cumbia songs on the radio
• You revere churro man and wish he were open all day for constant carmel-y churro goodness
• You recognize certain combis and motos by their stickers or signs
• You know that when you start seeing scorpions, rain’s a-coming
• You’ve learned most of your Quechua words from the names of Urubamba hotels
• You know how much anything good costs in Pisac and aren’t afraid to bargain until you get that price—not the gringo price
• Every morning, you love to look upon the mist upon the mountains
• You know that the Muse potato wedges are a food from God and far superior to the Muse yucca fries (and require plenty of ketchup, salsa de rocotto, and that mustard-y sauce)
• You aren't fazed by traveling with a sheep under your seat, a bag of cuy, and a box of chickens in your combi. Tomorrow, you'll probably travel with sheep on top of your combi and a bag of rabbits.
• You both love and hate Cusco